I don't want to.

I try to forget your existence, but my brain always freezes.
It’s no surprise that I end up right where I began.
I liked you better as a stranger that I adored…when your name was foreign.
I guess you think my name is boring.
I was so eager to know everything about you; the ins and outs, the nits and niches.
I didn’t know a glitch would end this mission.
It did. I’m stuck in the shallow muck of you.
The thought runs through my mind that you got covered in glue and fell in my mind.
That would explain the way you sprint through my mind in a loop.
Pondering why you forgot me makes me wonder why you can’t remember me.
Was I too convenient? Am I not cute enough? Did I do something wrong?
Too small, too big, too short, too tall, too shy, too outspoken, too much, not enough, too soft, too tough, too mean, too kind. These are some of things that torture my mind.
Or were you too conceited to see that I really liked you?
I remember the late night texts. It might sound crazy, but I think they were the hex that won’t let me think of anyone else except you.
I should have known you wouldn’t amount to everything I assumed you’d be.
You couldn’t possibly be what I thought you’d be.
It’s my foolish eyes that fools my mind and fills my heart with false hope.
My eyes are prone to portray a joke that’s not funny to me.
His long tangled hair tamed my attention.
Did I forget to mention his brown skin dominated the sparkle in my eye?
I know if I ever locked up with his lips they would do some damage.
Now, when I see him I get this awkward feeling even though he doesn’t acknowledge me with a greeting. Something as simple as “Nice to see ya.” would put a smile on my face.
What do I have to do, who do I have to be to get your attention?
Alright, I come off as desperate, but that’s not it.
See I might be a little strange and get attached prematurely to strangers I think of as attractive.
I’m not asking to be your girlfriend.
I mean I’m already condemned in your whirlwind.
Now, we’ll greet casually.
It’s not like I meant anything to you…vice versa.
I was just a number that fed your number.
Like a child I learn to survive little bruises and cuts.
My face has left your brain.
I have to obliterate the frame of the main picture.
I wish I could get over you.
I don’t want to, but I want you.